This morning on the way in to work I kinda had a moment.
You know those moments where you day dream and think of all sorts of things?
C'mon, I know you have them.
Stuck in traffic with all these people headed to their jobs
I began to think (oh no, look out!).
What am I doing? I'm stuck in a trap.
The "more" trap.
More money.
More stuff.
More things to call mine.
We work - seperate ourselves from our family - for what?
To pay bills?
Working to live, living to work.
If I didn't work, I wouldn't need a car.
I would not have to pay with my left arm and right leg for gas.
I wouldn't need to buy lunches on the go.
I would not need to spend more money for convenience.
I feel like I'm caught in a trap.
...and I can't really explain it.
It's possible to live a much simpler life.
With fewer expenses and fewer bills.
It's possible to do, yet I'm stuck.
We're stuck,
and chances are - you are stuck, too.
I mean, how many people get up in the mornings and say "I love my job."
It's a small percentage I'm sure.
Why do we force ourselves to be away from our family more than we are with them just so that we can have things. Yes, there are necessities, clothes, food, and a home, but what about two cars? Convenience. Cell phones? Convenience. It's slightly overwhelming the world we live in. The hustle and bustle is outrageous. Granted, I don't have a very stressful job, but it stresses me to be away from my baby missing this crucial time of her life. Do I have any options? Quitting my job is seemingly not an option, but it does not fulfill me. Being a loving, caring, and compassionate wife and mother fulfills me. Spending time with my husband and letting him know he is cherished fulfills me. Helping my baby develop new skills and investing into this short season of her being an infant fulfills me. This could be simply a fleeting moment, but I'm not sure.
Am I alone in these thoughts?
7 comments:
this sort of thing has been on my mind...I was actually posting about it today too...lol...
Sounds like maybe you should find a way to be home? I know its not as easy as it sounds
Hmmmm...that's a lot to think about. I've often thought about how hectic and fast paced our lives are. Wouldn't it be nice to return to a simpler time? I know Lee and I have done a lot of talking about how we can raise (for a lack of a better word) counter-culture children when the time comes. There's so much that our culture values that we don't want to value and we don't want our children to value.
My husband and I decided to live "bare minimum" so I could really focus on my stay at home small biz while raising my toddler son. At first I kept yearning to go spend money...not on items we needed...items I thought we would like. Since making this transaction I feel our relationship as a husband and wife have strengthened along with our family relationship with our son. We don't go out to eat, we stay at home and cook together. We don't go shopping, we make memories at home in our own backyard. We have learned over time individuals really can survive on much less than we think we have to have. We only have one cell phone now...mainly for my husband to have for his travel to work. We don't have cable/satelitte. I am so thankful we made this step for us, for what we are instilling in my son and for the joy of my job. I am fortunate to be one of those few individuals who does love her job! And being able to stay at home and focus on my job has paid off. I am now able to actually contribute to our household income. My hats are off for those Momma's that have to go to work and leave their small children. I have been blessed to be at home with my son since he was born.
My hubby and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I've been mostly stay at home. There's been a few times when I have gone into the workforce but the added costs never make it worthwhile. My income ends up being spent entirely on the extras that comes with both us working. Extra transport costs, child care, more dressy clothes and makeup, convienence meals and the greatest costs is to our relationships. We all have better relationships, with husband, wife and children. When I don't work we have time to just be together and not be rushing from A to B continually. Even when the kids were at school I could work & spend e afternoons at home doing washing, cleaning and meals or I could do that stuff during the day and spend more time with the kids when they are home. We do go without a bit but what we have far outweighs it. I can also save money when I am at how by cooking cheaper meals, baking instead of by processed and have more time to shop for bargains including thrift shopping as well as making clothing and gifts. Still being at home is not for everyone, I guess we have to be where our heart is. Praying you find peace.
You kind of took the words out of my mouth. I have been a stay at home mom for four years up until the last two months. I went back to work part time so we could get ahead and have more money for other things. Now, looking back I realize we could have cut more corners here and there and I could have done better. It's a sticky situation and already only two months into my part time job and I am yearning to be home. I keep thinking about what I can do to make that happen again.
Feeling in your boat and finally, despite some questions, I'll be headed back home in January.
Praying for you as you grapple with these tough questions.
Love!
I am a SAHM and I feel this way sometimes. Hubs works SO hard so we can have nice things and do things with our kids, but really if you aren't enjoying it, is it worth it? Praying for you!
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Thanks for your kind words! I appreciate you stopping by. Come again!
Megan Volnoff