"Breastfeeding is Weird"


Dear Lady,

Yes breastfeeding is extremely weird in this society. I really enjoy eating my food under a nice warm and cozy blanket that makes me sweat! Don't you enjoy sweating while you eat? I sure do. Oh and the bathroom? We TOTALLY enjoy eating in the bathroom with the feces stained walls and people going pee and poo around us. My mommy is strong, she can just stand for the 20 minutes while I eat anyway. Fine Dining right there.

I mean, all that work my mommy did to provide me with the best nutrition possible, yeah it was crazy and pointless and when I grow up I'll be just the same as all the other kids in my grade anyway.

Mom is so selfish, too; she doesn't want anyone else to bond with her baby by letting them feed her. Instead she chooses to waste her time with me, when it'd be so easy to pass me on to the next person.

My mommy endured the pain and discomfort those first few weeks, all for the "weird" cause.

She aims to make you disgusted by her choices to provide me with great nutrition. That's her goal, yupp. To gross everyone out by using her "sex organs" to feed and nourish me, cause she enjoys having her boob out in public. Seriously, mom. Nasty.

Being close to my mommy is kinda pointless, too. Gazing into her eyes and forming a bond with her that is insurmountable, it's pretty weird.

My mom is just wasting her time at work struggling to fill bottles for me so that I can have the best while she is away making money for our family. What is she thinking? It's not fair for her to get 3 twenty minute breaks when no one else gets those. Her co workers need her to be at her desk at all times, that's more important than using God's provision for me. I mean, how inconsiderate of her to stop what she's doing to go to her car and pump three times a day? She would rather be enjoying an hour long lunch break, but she does it anyway... Cause breastfeeding is weird.


Thanks,
Madison




10 comments:

photos by moe said...

Hahahah!! This is so funny!! I'll definitely show this to Madison when she is 16!

billie said...

Let me guess who this was...LOL

BeaumontGirl said...

LOL! I can SO relate to the bathroom breastfeeding :( :(

kelli@eatprayreadlove. said...

ugh people are so insensitive. Weird? Seriously?
You go girl for continuing while you work- that has got to be hard!
xoxo

Misty Marie said...

Love this post! New follower from the Mommy Moments Linky! Looking forward to reading more!
Misty @ http://monkeysandtutus.blogspot.com

Sippy Cups and Pearls said...

hahahahaha this cracks me UP! so glad I found your from the mommy moments link up! such a true yet quite funny post! excited to be your newest follower - oh and hey, way to stick in there...oh the sacrifices we make so baby can have the best nutrition!

Camille said...

Lol that cracked me up! But also kind of made me sad because breastfeeding should be accepted and supported so that you don't have to write stuff like this.

Liz Slater said...

Great post. I breastfed all 3 of my kids, luckily never had to do it n a bathroom stall. I wish Moms weren't meant to feel uncomfortable for doing what is most natural and healthy for their child.

Be strong, go feed your baby in a restaurant or food court at the mall. If anyone questions you, tell them it's lunchtime ;). If all nursing Moms do so in public, I think the stigma will end - eventually.

Liz Slater said...

*made* to feel uncomfortable

Wholesome Womanhood said...

I love it! Thanks for sharing.

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