Moms need friends, too.

Source: bing.com via Heather on Pinterest

Warning - this post may be a little rambly.

Making friends is hard for new moms.
Maintaining friendships is even harder.
Taking the time to develop and invest in new friends is even more scarce.

As new mothers we pour our hearts and souls into the well being of our children. We love them and soak up every new milestone. First smiles, first words, first steps... Oftentimes pushing ourselves and our own personal needs, wants, and desires to the side. Being a mother is often very sacrificial, but it is the most rewarding title as well. We often sacrifice friendships and relationships that may mean so much to us, but it's just that we don't feel we have the time to invest in our friends.

We may even feel like we can't be a good friend since our main priority is our new baby. We often feel like we don't deserve new friends because we are such a mess.

We are often covered in spit up, have messy hair, and our homes aren't tidy. There are crumbs on the floor, and the dust bunnies are getting ready to attack. We could never let anyone in our home, much less into our lives. They may see that, indeed, we do not have it all together {regardless of what we post on facebook}.

When you become a mother your life changes dramatically, and so does your need for friends (read: support). Mothers need friends who are mothers. It all makes sense now. I get it.

Truth is, that other mom - she probably doesn't have it all together, either. She probably is in the same boat as you. She needs a companion... someone who doesn't have it all together.

I need to make time to develop my new friendships. I need to make this a priority. Moms need friends, too.

Dear friend with a voice, 
I'm sorry I've not taken time to invest in our new friendship. I'm sorry that I'm always unavailable. I could learn so much from you. You are so transparent, and you're a few steps ahead of me in this whole mommy game. I look up to you, and I cherish the fact that you still call me a friend even though I have not invested in our relationship. I look forward to a time when we can have play dates and our girls can grow to love each other. I'm so grateful for your family and what you mean for us. Thank you for caring so much about me.

Dear bloggy neighbor friend,
You inspire me. Your encouraging words are so peaceful. You take such delight in your children and your husband - it's such a great example. You love your family, and it is apparent. Some day can we seriously get together! Maybe with the aforementioned "friend with a voice?"

Dear college friend,
I miss you. I'm sorry that all I talk about is my baby girl. She is so important to me, and mommies oftentimes have lost touch with how to be social - especially since our conversations at home with our children consist of high pitched squeally "peak-a-boos".

Dear sister friend,
Girl. Words do not begin to describe how much gratitude I have for our girls. They are gonna be bffs. I love seeing them play together! I'm so glad the Lord knew what he was doing. Who'da thunk our babies would be RELATED one day! I'm sorry I'm a wreck, and that I cannot invest into developing our relationship, but I think you get it. I think you're in the same boat. The "some days I just totally forget to even brush my teeth" boat. I love you. 

5 comments:

Tara said...

Like today? yea...I might not have brushed my teeth today when I went to the school to bring MA to meet an old college professor. I might be a mess. I might cancel lunch dates with a great local friend because I can't face going out in public with leg hair as long as it is...I might be a mess. A blessed mess. I gotcha. And no, I never for one second thought our kids would be related!! haha! I hadn't thought of it like that yet!!

Samantha Curtis said...

I LOVE THIS. I feel like this all the time... my fellow Army wives all have babies (with an exception of one), none of my college friends are even engaged, nor are my high school friends. It's hard when your lives are so completely different.. I've been having a really hard time with this lately... thanks for sharing!

whitneycroy said...

You are too precious to think of me even though we've never "met". Don't think I would ever be hurt or offended by you choosing your family over me. They are so much more important! I would love to get together with "Friend with a Voice" I think that would be fabulous! Just give me a date a time and I'll be there :)

Hope you have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

"They may see that, indeed, we do not have it all together {regardless of what we post on facebook}." LOVE THIS!! Such an honest and true post :)

lucymom said...

New follower from Mommy Moments blog hop. Enjoying your posts.
Erin
http://travelingkidsonthego.blogspot.com/

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