"They sure grow up fast..."


As I type this I'm an emotional wreck.

An elder, yet wise, co-worker just reminded me that babies grow up fast.

I've heard so many people say this to me. Everyone says that they grow up fast. If I blink I will miss it. Parents constantly remind me of that. Unfortunately, I'm doing all I can. All I can to soak up every moment I can with her, but I still feel like I'm missing it. For those of you who are new around these parts, I'm a working mother. I work 40 hours a week. I don't like to have people watch her while I go out and do things. I take her with me as much as I can. This may annoy some, but my time with my girl is limited. According to every other parent out there (calling myself a parent is weird), she'll be in Kindergarten before I know it.

I soak up my time with her on the weekends. My home isn't "pinnable" because of it - my recipes aren't gourmet - and my blog posts are scatter brained. I'll even admit that my spiritual walk has digressed.

Where am I getting with this post?

I'm not really sure.

I can't really relate to my friends who are stay at home moms, but will admit that I am jealous of them.

She's growing up fast, and I'm missing 8 hours of her day. I just wish people would quit reminding me of that.

I'm not asking for pity. Just venting. This is my blog.

This morning she woke up earlier than normal. I started out by being agitated. I was upset that I wasn't going to get some things done in time to leave. I needed wanted to wash bottles, but we have plenty clean ones to get her through the day. Instead, after nursing her, we snuggled. I didn't try to get her entertained while I did stuff. I held her (read: she let me hold her). We snuggled and napped on the couch. It was precious. She'd suck on her paci some, and glance up at me to smile, suck suck the paci, look up at me and grab my nose and pull it to Egypt (hurts so bad!). She'd rub my chest, look up and smile. After several rounds of smiles, we fell asleep. I soaked it up. Those moments were short, but precious. Almost as if time stood still while everything in the world was quiet. Eventually, her daddy joined us in the living room. I shared her with him so they could snuggle. I need to do this more. My baby may need me, but I need her more. 

When I hold my baby, I feel Jesus holding me.  

1 comment:

Samantha said...

This is a difficult struggle that I myself have dealt with. Even working part-time, this has been all too real for me and I have found myself getting sad to think about how quickly our babies do grow up.

Venting is okay! And I think it's healthy. Praying for you, friend, as you strive to get home with your babe.


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