My Child Doesn't Like Me {Hauntings of a Working Mom}

My child doesn’t like me.

She doesn’t know that I’m her mother, and I don’t know what to do.

Is this just a phase?

When I pick her up from her Nanny’s house she may smile when I walk in the door, but she doesn’t run to me or get excited about me. I feel l only catch her attention when I have food or something she wants. She has never really called me mama. When I was nursing, you could kinda hear “mama” in her cries, but it was never distinct.

I battle some demons that attack me for being a working mom. I tell myself that if I stayed home she would love me more, or at least act like I was in the room. That she would act like she even knew who I was. Some days she doesn’t even want to play with me. She is so independent. She really needs no one. She has never been the type to crawl up in your lap and just sit with you. She does that when she is sleepy and when she is sick. She rarely sits in my lap, she rarely hugs or kisses me. I could leave her in the nursery at church with complete strangers and she doesn’t really care much when I come and pick her up.

We have “moments” every now and again where she will do something super sweet, but it is usually short lived. It does make her hugs, kisses, and snuggles that much more special when I do get them. Though, she has never been one to need snuggles or rocking. At night, she just wants to put herself to bed in her crib. Music. Blanket. Crib. No more, no less. Did I create a monster? Or is this just her personality?

I know some mommies battle with babies that are super attached. I wish for one moment my child would miss me while I was gone.

I wonder if this is how God feels about us.

He provides for us. He gives us food, water, all our needs, but we ignore him. We act like we don’t even know he is with us. In this moment I must follow the example of Christ and love her unconditionally anyway. If she never expresses her love to me again, I will give her my all. I will work hard during the day with her precious face as my motivation. I will bend over backwards to make her happy. I will make silly faces and play peek a boo for hours on end if that is what she desires. Whatever it takes for her to know I love her.

It may be years before she realizes how much I love her, but I will still keep pressing on.

My sweet, smiley, independent child.


Crystal Green said...

My husband goes through this same feeling when it comes to our boys not showing any signs of missing him when he's gone too. I have always had my kids run to me when I've gotten off from work when I was working, so I don't know what it feels like. I can only imagine the pain you have to be feeling from it though!! I feel pain when my kids want to go to their grandparents house verses stay with me (even though they are with me almost 24/6.) It's NOT the same thing though!!

Your little one does sound very confident in who she is, and what she wants. The fact that she is comfortable with not being with you is a testament to the fact that your leaving her in good hands while you do have to work.Are you always home at the same time?? Maybe be a half hour later one day and see if the reaction is different if you do always come home at the same time. I bet you may be surprised how she responds. ;)

Elisabeth said...

As a fellow working mom, I feel your pain! I have seven kids, though, so I've gotten to see how personality makes such a big difference.

Of my 7, my 3rd born was the super independent one. Didn't care who was there and who wasn't. Didn't like to be cuddled at night. After two super cuddlers it was a bit of a shock! He is 14 now though, and VERY affectionate. In fact, almost more so than the others are!

Hang in there... she knows you love her!

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