iBelieve: Girls Need Girlfriends

Well, here she goes. That ever stewing emotional post I’ve been mulling over.

I feel alone.

Yupp. Do you remember that {dumb} feeling when you were a little kid and all the “cool” kids were over someone where, and you always found yourself to be alone?

I’m experiencing that. As an adult.

I feel like such a child, but I feel so left out.

The people who used to even just give me cheap ‘ol chit chat barely even say “hi” when I see them. Those who claim to care, really don’t, or else they would know I was hurting.

When I was in college I was constantly surrounded by friend after friend after friend. We all connected, and we all “got” each other. Now, life has taken us in separate directions and most of us don’t even speak anymore. Such is life, and I realize that. Aren’t there people out there that are like me? Demographically speaking, at least?

No children?

No one.

The people who once were always by my side…
Yeah they’re gone. They don’t care.

The adults I used to look up to, not anymore.
They’re all acting like children.

I long to connect with someone on a deeper level than
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m fine, how are you?

That’s all that my “community” consists of.

I need to relate to someone like me.
A new wife with little money and no children
{and a side of creativity}

I long to just go out and grab coffee and chit chat with my girlfriends.
I have none.

Part of the reason why I cannot is because most girls my age are either
  1. still single
  2. married because they got pregnant.
Are there not any Christian girls out there like me?

Is it me? Do I have some pertruding character flaw that makes people just refuse to hang out with me?

Why can’t I go to New York?

I’m hurting. I need friends. I need female friends that can understand the frustrations of the husband leaving the toilet seat up or that I can talk to about my financial struggles. Maybe we could even talk about FUTURE children.

I know that the Lord is my strength and my refuge, but I also know that He longs for us to connect spiritually with each other. Well… basically, there ain’t too many young ladies that uphold Christian values. Most people my age fall away and come back when JR makes his arrival.

This is such a hard stage in life for Christians.

There are no other young couples in my church.
[one will be married this weekend, and I’m praying that once things slow down for her, that the Lord will allow us to befriend each other on a much deeper level]

There are barely any people my age at my church.

The adults still see me as a child, and I’m hitting a wall with the whole “I’M A FREAKING ADULT NOW” thing.

I’m too old to be a “youth”; I’m too young to be an “adult”

My opinions are always shot down, because I’m trying to relate to a completely different generation. They just don’t get it.

To be honest, I’m ready for something radical.
A radical movement.
To a place where my talents, passions, flaws, convictions, burdens, love, and time will be appreciated.

I’m praying that the Lord makes things clear to husband.
I’m not our spiritual leader, he is… and I see why.
I’m way too overwhelmed by emotions to make ANY
decisions right now.

I have an amazing husband who is my best 
friend, and no girl will ever come close to 
knowing me like he does, but there are some 
things you wanna do with a GIRL.

I have an amazing family with great women 
including amazing aunts, cousins, 
mom and sister.

Feel free to link up your emotions 
with me!!!
Who are your girlfriends?
Do you have lots of bloggy girlfriends?
Feel free to link up to your page of
bloggy girlfriends.
Share anything!
You can link anything this week!!
The linky is open until next Wednesday.


Kendra Hardesty said...

Megan...I have one word for you. ZUMBA! Seriously..I was in the EXACT same boat you are in now. I had NO friends. My husband and kids were the only ones I had to talk to. I didn't even have family I could talk to. It was lonely and sad and frustrating. I worked with people who drove me crazy or were really immature.

I decided to join my local zumba dance class and it literally was one of the best decisions I had made in the last four years. I now have a best friend whose husband is the twin to mine and we are identical ourselves. I also created a rapport with my zumba ladies. They even threw me a bachelorette party for my wedding.

we have fun and exercise at the same time. I now have friends that care about me. If I hadn't signed up for zumba class and make myself go I would have missed out on getting to know these wonderful women.

If your area doesn't have one...then you should look into getting certified and starting one. It isn't hard at all. Anyways, that is just my two cents worth!

Kendra Hardesty said...

re-reading my post I was like...wow..I hope she doesn't think I am a spokesperson for zumba lol. I was just trying to make a point of sometimes you have to go looking for friendship and make the first steps. Put yourself out there.

Aleks said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! you have no idea how long i have been waiting to hear that im not an outcast

Jenna said...

I sometimes feel that way too. I have some friends, but no besties anymore. I did in college, but like you said, you all go separate ways. I wish I had someone to just hang out with and chat and not have to do anything planned, you know? Bloggy friends can be fun too. Not quite the same, I know. But I'll be your boggy friend! {I do have a kid though, hope that doesn't disqualify me!} Just know you're not alone. More people feel that way than you know. You were just brave enough to put it out there. And God is always there for you, he'll never leave!

Jacky said...

Oh goodness you are so not alone in this!!! I may not be married, but I understand the feelings of isolation and lonlieness! sometimes, all a girl needs is something that even the best husband can't give: girl talk.

I've never had that close knit group of friends and I get lonely from time to time but I take comfort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows me and knows how I'm feeling and will find a way to make me happy again.

If you ever need anything, hop on over to me! i love making new bloggy friends! <3

Natalia Lynn said...

You are definitely not the only one! I feel ya on soooo many levels! We move all the time, I have two kids, and most of the time the language of the country we are in is my second language! And then to top it off, all the girls I know are basketball player's wives and aren't exactly quality! Wish we could hang out. Are you close to LA??

GingerPeachT said...

I totally can relate. I'm 22 and been married for less than a year. Actually moved away from my whole family and friends and now live in the swamp. Hubby is in the coast guard, and I'm a bible student taking online classes. So no real opportunity to meet good Christian couples!! We do go to church but still nothing around our age yet. And the people that I have befriended thus far are in their late 30's with kids lol I'm tired of the older friends who talk about kids all the time.

Well I did make 2 new friends on a forum, who seem wonderful. We are all planning to meet the first time in July so I'm excited for that.

But let me know if you find any secret formula to find a friend :-) lol

Anna said...

This is one of the most honest blog posts I have ever read! I love it!

Natassia @ Nat's Knapsack said...

SO, I am working my way through reading your iBelieves and this one was starring at me and honestly, I was afraid to read it... girls need girlfriends, I so believe this but I was afraid of seeing another post about amazing girlfriends and being reminded how I don't have that. After reading this, I just want to say that you are not alone! I know that now your life has changed a bit and maybe so have your friends, but this is something I struggle with. For me its because I am a mom and I am a stay at home at that and don't have a sitter to watch my little guy to do much. Growing up my friends were mostly guys, girls had so much drama ha but now being married I need that girl bonding time too. For me, I do have great family too and some are just a little younger than I (things will change for them too).. anyway (i feel I am rambling) :) I just wanted to say that you are not alone and it is hard, but thankfully we do have amazing husbands and an awesome God who is always there! Thanks again! Looking forward to getting to know you better!

Nora said...

I can't link up anymore so I'll just say what I need to here. Well gal, you took the words right outta my mouth, I'm lonely without many friends, no one ever visits, I don't drive or go anywhere much and I need that support from my girls. :( makes me sad, however my blog is becoming my outlet and my safe haven, I'm learning more and making myself open up more too. Thanks a bunch for sharing- you aren't alone. I will be your bloggy bff!:)

amy and jesse hudson said...

You have a gift for blight honesty :). I really mean that. How is this coming along for you? I know how you feel too. I would advise you to pray for christian friends you can really connect with. I did that years ago and God brought so many great new girl pals my way. He may also bring some people into your life who aren't exactly where you are at in this stage of the fame too and that could also be really amazing. One of the new close girlfriends God brought into my life a few years ago is almost 10 years younger than me, ( I'm 31 already ) but we can talk about anything so the phase of lite thing doesn't get in the way at all! I just said a prayer for ya! And I'd love to be a good

Lani said...

Girl I can't imagine how that post could get you in trouble. It was honest from deeo down. i know the feeling. Hubs and I have been together for 8 years, the last 2 as married. We have no children and also have no friends our age that are in the same position we are in. Most of my friends that I have know since singlehood, are married and have 3 kids. I feel behind sometimes. I wish you live closer and we could drink coffee togther.

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